Dear Abby | Bridal shower spinning out of control

Q. Dear Abby: I agreed to be maid of honor at my best friend’s wedding. I am now planning her bridal shower and just received the guest list from her mother and the groom’s mother, “Alicia.”

Alicia has given me the names of about 30 guests and says there are more people she wants to invite. Abby, the entire list will amount to nearly 70 guests!

I thought showers were supposed to be for close friends and family only. Would it be out of line to suggest to Alicia that if she wants to invite that many people, she should give a separate shower? — Overwhelmed in New York

A. Dear Overwhelmed: You and the groom’s mother are not on the same wavelength. She may be trying to repay social obligations, while you are simply trying to perform your attendant’s duties.

Because Alicia is so insensitive, you must tell her firmly the maximum number of guests you can accommodate at the shower. It would not be out of line to suggest that she ask one of her friends to also host one. If she insists on inviting everybody to your shower, ask her to share the expenses with you. (Remember, bridal showers are usually hosted by attendants, friends or relatives of the bride, but not members of her or her fiancé’s immediate families.)

Limit divorce venting

Q. Dear Abby: Please pass along this suggestion to your readers: If you’re separated or getting a divorce, use discretion if you’re tempted to talk about it.

The more you bad-mouth the person you are divorcing, the more people will reject you. It may not seem fair, but it’s true. People will “forget” that you never complained before and say, “I didn’t know she was so vindictive. No wonder he left!”

You will do yourself additional damage by ranting to co-workers. You’re paid to work, not talk. Your co-workers are paid to work, not listen.

Do not confide your problems to your customers. They will stop doing business with you because they’re afraid of being trapped by your pain.

If you must vent your anger and disappointment, do it in a support group. The members will empathize; others haven’t a clue and don’t care. A support group also can give you practical advice about lawyers, finances and emotional help.

Your pain will linger for months, but the patience of your friends and co-workers will fade. My co-worker managed to bore all of us. She quit therapy to spend the money redecorating her home to “erase him from her life.” Not only did she lose all sympathy in that shortsighted, shallow act, she also lost precious time she should have spent healing and becoming strong and independent.

It’s strange, Abby. People facing death don’t disrupt other people’s lives the way those with broken vows do. —Tired of Listening in Maryland

A. Dear Tired: You make a strong case for keeping separate one’s personal and professional lives. Friends and co-workers are important to anyone experiencing the trauma of divorce, but I agree that an outside source — such as a support group — can provide practical, impartial advice because the members can empathize without becoming emotionally involved.

Those who act this way may be looking for a sympathetic ear, but they usually wind up with a cold shoulder.

© 2012 Universal Uclick 5/21

Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.



Mark Zuckerberg’s Big Surprise Weekend Wedding

Mark Zuckerberg got married, everyone! A day after taking Facebook public, Zuck tied the knot with his longtime girlfriend Priscilla Chan and announced it the only way he knows how: through his Facebook timeline. 

How the ceremony came together is actually adorable. Zuckerberg and Chen had been planning the wedding in secret for five months months leading up to this weekend, according to All Things D. The timing of the wedding lining up with Facebook’s IPO was just a coincidence. The date of the IPO was a “moving target” and just happened to coincide with the wedding. The ceremony was held in the backyard of Zuckerberg’s California home. He even designed the ring himself!

The 100 attendees thought they were attending a party for celebrating Chen’s recent graduation from med school, and Mark’s birthday, which was on May 14. The couple didn’t tell their wedding guests they were attending a wedding until everyone had arrived. “Everyone was shocked,” a source told The Associated Press, who were the first to report the story. 

Congratulations, guys!

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Vendors in New York, Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Arizona and Illinois to be …

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Magic Lantern provides Arabian-themed event planning, dance instruction and entertainment. Dance classes include an Egyptian dance class where students will learn progressively more difficult dance moves. Professional Bellydance Artists will bring high energy, artistic beauty and joyful spirit to your Special Celebration. Customers can choose between a mini Bellydance performance, classical Bellydance performance and a Bellydance show with theme décor, photography and videography package. Performances for parties include dancers with Isis Wings, Shamadan (Candelabra), Assaya (Cane), Sword or Candle-Tray, Finger Cymbals and Veil/Double-Veil. Spectacular Bellydance entertainment is provided for a variety of occasions including private parties, special events, weddings or cultural shows. More information can be found online at http://www.partypop.com/v/4342436.

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Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg marries longtime girlfriend, Priscilla Chan

Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg updated his status to “married” on Saturday.



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Zuckerberg and 27-year-old Priscilla Chan tied the knot at a small ceremony at his Palo Alto, Calif., home, capping a busy week for the couple, according to a guest authorized to speak for the couple. The person spoke only on the condition of anonymity.

Zuckerberg took his company public in one of the most anticipated stock offerings in Wall Street history Friday. And Chan graduated from medical school at the University of California, San Francisco, on Monday, the same day Zuckerberg turned 28, the person said.

The couple met at Harvard and have been together for more than nine years, the person said.

Zuckerberg designed the ring featuring “a very simple ruby,” according to the person who gave the following characterization of the wedding.

Facebook’s IPO fails to live up to the hype

The ceremony took place in Zuckerberg’s backyard before fewer than 100 guests, who all thought they were there to celebrate Chan’s graduation.

Guests ate family style from the couple’s favorite Palo Alto restaurants, Palo Alto Sol and Fuki Sushi. Dessert was L.A. Burdick chocolate “mice,” which the couple had on their first date, said the person.

Even after the IPO, Zuckerberg remains Facebook’s single largest shareholder, with 503.6 million shares. And he controls the company with 56 percent of its voting stock.

The site, which was born in a dorm room eight years ago, has grown into a worldwide network of almost a billion people.

Zuckerberg founded Facebook at Harvard in 2004.

He was named as Time’s Person of the Year in 2010, at age 26.

Zuckerberg grew up in Dobbs Ferry, N.Y.

Copyright 2012 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Red rose Pippa dazzles at friend’s wedding to Richard Attenborough’s actor …

By
Lara Gould

14:38 EST, 19 May 2012

|

05:24 EST, 20 May 2012


Sultry: Pippa Middleton turned heads at the wedding of Camilla Hook and Sam Holland, in Aberlady, near Edinburgh

Sultry: Pippa Middleton turned heads at the wedding of Camilla Hook and Sam Holland, in Aberlady, near Edinburgh

A year ago she became the talking point of her sister’s wedding to Prince William.

Now it seems Pippa Middleton is making a habit of upstaging brides on their big day.

Yesterday she attended the Scottish wedding of close friend Camilla Hook to Indian Ocean tsunami survivor Sam Holland, the actor grandson of Oscar-winning film director Lord Attenborough.

The bride, who had taken wedding planning advice from party planner Pippa, arrived in an elegant off-the-shoulder floor-length lace dress with full satin skirt and carrying a posy of cream roses, at the parish church in the village of Aberlady – 15 miles from Edinburgh.

But as she made her way into the church all eyes – and indeed cameras – were on the Duchess of Cambridge’s younger sister.

She turned heads in a low-cut raspberry-coloured silk jersey ‘Forever’ dress by Issa – her sister Kate wore a midnight-blue version to announce her engagement at Clarence House in November 2010.

The body-skimming dress, which showcased single Pippa’s enviable figure and world-famous derriere, was accessorised with a matching fascinator with net veil and black clutch bag and set off with a pair of black heels.

Inside the church Miss Middleton, who arrived with a female friend and one of the young bridesmaids, gave a reading reciting the lyrics from singer Bob Dylan’s Forever Young as part of the service, which included three hymns and a song from the church choir.

Other guests included Freddie Mellor, the son of former Conservative Cabinet Minister David Mellor. Freddie, a friend of the groom since their time at Charterhouse public school in Surrey, was one of five best men.

Pippa Middleton at the wedding of Camilla Hook and Sam Holland
Camilla Hook

Close friends: Pippa Middleton and bride Camilla Hook met on an exclusive cookery course in 2002

Big day: Guests gather outside the church where Miss Middleton recited Bob Dylan lyrics as a tribute to her friend of ten years

Big day: Guests gather outside the church where Miss Middleton recited Bob Dylan lyrics as a tribute to her friend of ten years

Pippa Middleton The wedding of Camilla Hook and Sam Holland in Scotland Scotland
Pippa Middleton The wedding of Camilla Hook and Sam Holland in Scotland Scotland

Pippa makes her way through the churchyard (left) and leads guests inside for the service (right)

After the service Miss Middleton, 28, and other guests gathered to throw petals over the newlyweds to the strains of a lone piper, before being driven off in an Audi as others were ferried to the reception at the bride’s family home by coach. Miss Middleton and Miss Hook, also 28, have been friends since 2002 when they met on an exclusive £3,600- a-month cookery course in Frome, Somerset, after leaving school.

Miss Hook, who lives in Clapham, South London, met her fiance when they were students at Durham University.

Their wedding follows tragedy for Mr Holland, 27, who lost members from three generations of his family in the tsunami in 2004. He and his father, shipbroker Michael Holland, survived the Boxing Day disaster after travelling inland from their holiday home in Thailand to play golf.

Mr Holland’s mother Jane, 49 – Lord Attenborough’s eldest daughter – was killed, as were his sister Lucy, 15, and his paternal grandmother, also called Jane, 81. His second sister, Alice, now 24, was seriously injured but survived and was there to support her brother on his big day yesterday, giving a reading during the  45-minute service.

Mr Holland has spoken of how his future wife helped him cope with the loss, saying: ‘Camilla has been a great source of comfort to me over the years. We’re very happy.’

Showered with petals: Newlyweds Camilla Hook and Sam Holland leave the church before making their way to the reception at the nearby Hook family home

Showered with petals: Newlyweds Camilla Hook and Sam Holland leave the church before making their way to the reception at the nearby Hook family home

And the boys: Sam Holland (centre) with his ushers. The groom is the grandson of Lord Attenborough and a survivor of the 2004 tsunami, in which members of his family died

And the boys: Sam Holland (centre) with his ushers. The groom is the grandson of Lord Attenborough and a survivor of the 2004 tsunami, in which members of his family died

Groom's grandfather: Oscar-winning director Lord Attenborough, who lost his eldest daughter and granddaughter - Mr Holland's mother and sister - in the Indian Ocean disaster

Groom’s grandfather: Oscar-winning director Lord Attenborough, who lost his eldest daughter and granddaughter – Mr Holland’s mother and sister – in the Indian Ocean disaster

The wedding of Camilla Hook and Sam Holland in Scotland
The wedding of Camilla Hook and Sam Holland in Scotland

Making an entrance: (above and below) Guests arrive at Aberlady Parish Church

The wedding of Camilla Hook and Sam Holland in Scotland
The wedding of Camilla Hook and Sam Holland in Scotland

Here’s what other readers have said. Why not add your thoughts,
or debate this issue live on our message boards.

The comments below have not been moderated.

This woman spells trouble!

She is not an attractive woman…….unlike her sister.

You have to hand it to the friends of Pippa, who invite her, knowing they will have to put up with the media coverage, public commentary, et al. People who are not even given the courtesy of name identification, as well as the bride, are picked apart, critiqued, and compared against everyone and everything, when it was a private wedding. No one ever upstages any bride, and if this private wedding were not covered because of Pippa, no one would be commenting on the bride’s dress, etc. Pippa didn’t upstage anyone in her dress, color of dress, etc, anymore than the lady in the orange coat did. Who called the press anyway to alert them to this event?

Why on earth is everyone slagging off this poor girl. She hasn’t represented herself as some kind of hot beauty. She just happens to be the sister of a Royal and now she has no life because it. Honestly, there is no need for such unkindness.

Love the way the British celebrate weddings. Everyone’s wedding always looks so special. I think the lovely country churches, home and garden receptions, are beautiful. I also think it very nice how friendships forged seem to last forever. As for Pippa, there seems to be nothing she can do right, though I do not think she spends a great deal of concern over trying to get it all right to please everyone. Other than those friends of her’s in France, who I believed exploited her and she figured it out after she got there, she really has done nothing but go about her life. As always, people attack a public person’s physical appearance, that of which we were all born with and just trying to look as nice as we can, in public. For this wedding, she seems to have worn the standard, acceptable, wedding guest attire. What if people just didn’t comment and indicate to the press/paparazzi that we were interested. Maybe then the coverage would stop. She would probably be relieved, too.

I don’t think she did herself any favours taking a sly look at the cameras in the first pic. I also think this dress suited her sister better in blue or maybe it was the lighting. Yeah the bride is stunning and the girl in the car in the final pic is very radiant. If I were the bride I would be a bit miffed at the paparazzi showing up. I assume they are doing it to chase down Pippa but how on earth did they know she was attending? They have possibly turned what was a nice quiet traditional wedding into a circus

Pippa Mania is exactly that. Something manufactured by journalists. Now if you wish to see a beautiful woman DM readers, Kelly Brook is on the next page.

god how i would hate to have the DM paparazzi at my wedding or indeed near me anywhere…
- Ripley, Freight Ship Nostromo ………………………………. I wouldn’t worry too much.

She looks ridiculous. Lamb dressed up as mutton. It will take more than mint sauce to take the bad taste away.

She puts me in mind of a song that was a hit in the early 70′s here in Australia. The sand out lyrics were ‘Nice legs, shame about the face. Oooh ooh’

The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.

Jailed Israeli president freed briefly

International News

Jailed Israeli president freed briefly
May 20, 2012 14:44 GMT

JERUSALEM (AP) — A prison spokeswoman says Israel’s jailed former president has been freed for a few hours to attend his son’s wedding.

Spokeswoman Sivan Weizman said Moshe Katsav was granted a seven-hour furlough on Sunday. She said he was let out unattended and needs to be back at prison by midnight.

“A psychiatric evaluation determined that he is not dangerous,” she said.

Katsav, 66, was jailed in December after being convicted of raping a former female employee when he was a minister and of sexually harassing two other women when he was president from 2000 to 2007.

Katsav has repeatedly professed his innocence and claims he is a victim of a political witch hunt.

A Complete Guide To Sticking To Your Budget As The Wedding Season Madness Ramps Up

Farnoosh Torabi

Image courtesy of Farnoosh Torabi

Farnoosh Torabi was fulfilling her bridesmaid duties, planning a memorable bachelorette party, when she received a very welcome note.

“One of the other bridesmaids emailed me and said, ‘Look, we all love Kate and we want to have an awesome time, but let’s try to keep this reasonable,’” Torabi recalled.

God love her.

Torabi, whose day job is personal finance expert for Yahoo, launched into budget mode. “Every bridesmaid brought a bottle of wine from a different region of the world, and we did a wine tasting at my apartment.”

She talked a neighborhood restaurant owner into creating a prix-fixe menu for her party of eight and rounded out the evening at a bar with an ’80s cover band.

“We had so much fun,” she said. “And all it took was one person from the group bringing me down to earth and saying, ‘Let’s not have this become a financial burden for everyone involved.’”

Bridesmaids spend an average of $1,695 per wedding, according to a 2010 WeddingChannel (weddingchannel.com) survey, once the dress, travel, gifts and parties are all accounted for. Even attending a wedding as a guest can take a bite out of your finances, with a National Endowment for Financial Education survey finding that 42 percent of invitees anticipate spending $100-$500 per wedding, and 13 percent plan to spend more than $1,000.

And what about those dreaded 3- or 4- or 5-weddings-in-a-season seasons?

“If you can afford it, that’s one thing,” said Torabi, author of “Psych Yourself Rich: Get The Mindset and Discipline You Need to Build Your Financial Life” (FT Press, 22.99). “But if money is tight, you really need to weigh the consequences of spending that kind of cash.”

There are ways, after all, to survive wedding season with your finances and friendships intact.

So with wedding season about to hit full bloom — it unofficially begins around Memorial Day — we offer these ideas:

Plan for it. “A lot of times you can see it coming,” said Anja Winikka, site editor for The Knot (theknot.com). “You’ve got a number of friends in committed relationships. These things definitely come in waves.” If you can set aside some money each week by making small changes (brown bagging your lunch, hopping the bus instead of a cab), you won’t feel such a hit when the big event(s) arrive.

Selectively gift. If you’re invited not only to the wedding but also the engagement party, shower(s) and bachelor/bachelorette party, you’re not required to bring an equal gift to every event. Torabi suggests giving yourself a spending limit at the outset and divvying it up accordingly. Maybe a bottle of wine for the engagement party, a small gift off the registry for one shower and the big kahuna for the wedding.

Group gift. Feel free to split that big kahuna among pals. “If you’re in the wedding party or you’ve got a group of friends from college who are all going to the wedding, get an email going with them and suggest that you each contribute $75 to go in on one big gift,” Torabi said. “Sometimes couples even have it set up where you can help fund their honeymoon.”

Keep it casual. If you’re hosting a pre-wedding event, you don’t have to dazzle with expensive details. “A barbecue at a park with lemonade and checkered tablecloths can be a really fun engagement party,” Winikka said. “It’s not about renting out a $1,000 venue with linens on the tables and catering it with lobster. It’s about making it personal. If their honeymoon is in Thailand, create really cute DIY stationery that matches the theme. If they got engaged in Paris, do a little Parisian theme.”

Split the bills. Sites like WePay (wepay.com) and SplitABill (splitabill.com) make it easy to divvy hosting costs among a group. No badgering for money six months down the road; no waiting for checks to arrive in the mail. Just log on, set up an account and wait for the money to start rolling in.

No pressure. The number of destination weddings has quadrupled in the past decade, according to Smart Money magazine, which is great news for folks looking to get out of attending an event or two. “If they made it a destination wedding, in a lot of ways they’ve made it easier for you to say no,” Torabi said. “If you’ve got the vacation time and can find a cheap flight, and it’s somewhere you really want to go, it’s a great opportunity. If not, you don’t have to go.”

Be brutally honest. With yourself and your pal who’s marrying. “If this is really going to hurt your financial situation, you need to say no,” Torabi said. Even if that means turning down being in the wedding party or missing the wedding altogether. “Just make sure you put it in the context of, ‘Listen, I’m going to grad school next year,’ or ‘I just lost my job’ or whatever your situation is. You don’t want to say, ‘I hope to buy a house someday, and this is going to hurt my chances.’ It should be a very real circumstance that’s happening now.”

Winikka said: “If the person is a good friend, they’re not going to drop you for not being able to afford everything. People still need friends after their wedding.”

hstevens@tribune.com

Now see everything you need to know about marriage and personal finance

Video: Facebook founder gets married

Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg updated his status to “married” on Saturday.



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Zuckerberg and 27-year-old Priscilla Chan tied the knot at a small ceremony at his Palo Alto, Calif., home, capping a busy week for the couple, according to a guest authorized to speak for the couple. The person spoke only on the condition of anonymity.

Zuckerberg took his company public in one of the most anticipated stock offerings in Wall Street history Friday. And Chan graduated from medical school at the University of California, San Francisco, on Monday, the same day Zuckerberg turned 28, the person said.

The couple met at Harvard and have been together for more than nine years, the person said.

Zuckerberg designed the ring featuring “a very simple ruby,” according to the person who gave the following characterization of the wedding.

Facebook’s IPO fails to live up to the hype

The ceremony took place in Zuckerberg’s backyard before fewer than 100 guests, who all thought they were there to celebrate Chan’s graduation.

Guests ate family style from the couple’s favorite Palo Alto restaurants, Palo Alto Sol and Fuki Sushi. Desert was L.A. Burdick chocolate “mice,” which the couple had on their first date, said the person.

Even after the IPO, Zuckerberg remains Facebook’s single largest shareholder, with 503.6 million shares. And he controls the company with 56 percent of its voting stock.

The site, which was born in a dorm room eight years ago, has grown into a worldwide network of almost a billion people.

Zuckerberg founded Facebook at Harvard in 2004.

He was named as Time’s Person of the Year in 2010, at age 26.

Zuckerberg grew up in Dobbs Ferry, N.Y.

Copyright 2012 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Spokane event planner grows, evolves with business

  • Story
  • Photos 01
  • Comments

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Spokane event planner Jamie Johnson admits she still gets nervous at weddings, but channels nerves into energy.
(Full-size photo)

Five facts


Launched business: 8 years ago


Typical work week:
80 hours


Range of events: birthdays, anniversaries, fundraisers, trade shows


Largest wedding:
600 guests


Contact: www.jaimejevents.com; (509) 838-3057

By her own admission, Jaime Johnson was a bossy kid.

“I was always organizing something,” said the former Post Falls Junior Miss. “A neighborhood parade or backyard concert.”

She also has a nurturing side.

“I enjoy taking care of other people. But I’m too squeamish to work in a hospital.”

Which explains how Johnson gravitated to a career planning gatherings – everything from corporate wingdings to wakes.

After working for the Coeur d’Alene Resort and Davenport Hotel, she started her own company.

She discussed her business – Jaime Johnson Events – and its niche of the hospitality industry during a recent interview.

S-R: In a nutshell, what do you do?

Johnson: I plan everything from baby showers to sweet 16s and graduation parties, nonprofit events and even memorial services. But I’m best known for weddings.

S-R: How did you break into this career?

Johnson: I was modeling for the Bridal Festival, and one day the owner looked stressed out, so I asked what I could do to help. She said I could go around and collect all the bills. Bill collector didn’t sound very fun, so I named myself the vendor relations director.

S-R: What’s the peak wedding season here?

Johnson: July through October.

S-R: How early do couples start planning their wedding?

Johnson: Some start two years in advance to work around graduations and internships. But we’ve put together weddings with 150 guests in as little as 30 days.

S-R: What’s your schedule look like this summer?

Johnson: We’re booked solid with weddings – sometimes two every weekend – from July 14 through Oct. 7.

S-R: What’s a typical wedding budget?

Johnson: The national average is around $23,000, but most of our clients spend more. I’ve done weddings for 350 people that cost $100,000, and weddings for 50 people that cost upward of $150,000.

S-R: How can clients get the most for their money?

Johnson: If your priority is that guests be happy, spend it on food and beverages. And your dress – you should feel elegant. The other place I’d recommend spending money is on something that makes you feel pampered, like having your makeup done. It doesn’t really matter if guests sit on beautiful Chiavari chairs or old metal folding ones, as long as everyone has a seat that’s comfortable.

S-R: Do parents usually pay for the wedding?

Johnson: Yes, but some split the bill 50-50 with the couple. And over 30 percent of couples pay on their own.

S-R: How is the planner compensated?

Johnson: It’s different for everyone. Typically, nationwide, planners get 15 or 20 percent of the overall bill. But when choosing, it’s important to know your planner’s strengths.

S-R: What is your strength?

Johnson: Mine is being the conductor. I’m not the DJ, but I make sure the DJ knows his cues. I work with lighting, and understand how much space is needed to accommodate 15 tables, 150 chairs and a dance floor – all of the different pieces that make up an event.

S-R: How do you handle the diplomatic challenges, such as where to seat relatives – or former relatives – who don’t get along?

Johnson: I remind everyone we’re all family on wedding day, and that everyone has to put on their big-boy pants. And they usually do. I’ve seen brides crying tears of joy at the end of the night because her parents who haven’t spoken in years are sharing a dance.

S-R: What’s your business philosophy?

Johnson: I just like to see people smile, so as long as everyone’s happy and comfortable, I put the stamp of approval on that event.

S-R: How many people work for you?

Johnson: I have one assistant on a day-to-day basis, and as many as 20 on site at an event.

S-R: Do you get odd requests?

Johnson: One prominent couple planning an otherwise very formal wedding wanted to shock their guests by having a dog bring down the ring to the song “Who Let the Dogs Out?” And they didn’t have a dog, so I had to hire a trainer and a dog. I even ordered a little doggy tuxedo. Everything went well during the ceremony until after the dog delivered the ring. He was trained to return to me when I put my hand down with a treat, but everyone seated along the aisle put their hands out to pet the dog, and he darted back and forth, confused.

S-R: Have you had any disasters?

Johnson: Yes. June of 2006. The Coeur d’Alene Resort golf course. It was about 100 degrees – I remember having to go get water and sunscreen for the guys setting up tents. Then, 30 minutes before the ceremony, the wind came up and destroyed everything. We lost tables, flowers – the harp ended up about 100 yards away. Fifty guests were coming by boat, and the water was so choppy they had to pull into a random bay. And the poor bride got out of the car right when the wind picked up, and her hair and makeup were ruined. But golfers and resort employee started picking everything up. And a convention going on at the resort moved vendors to make room so the wedding could take place indoors. The ceremony was two hours late, but there was the most beautiful feeling in the room.

S-R: Do you still get nervous at weddings?

Johnson: I do, but my nervous energy comes out in action, so I’m constantly making sure everything is perfect from the moment I arrive.

S-R: What would surprise people about this profession?

Johnson: That it takes a lot of work to make everything look effortless. I ruined so many designer suits in the early years, thinking I should dress a certain way. But when you help cut the cake or move flowers, you get messy. Those who don’t make it in this industry are the ones who think they don’t have to lift a finger.

S-R: What advice would you offer someone who aspires to this career?

Johnson: Get involved, and don’t focus on just one skill. Volunteer to work for a cake decorator. Maybe work at a tuxedo shop or a dress boutique. It’s best to know a little about a lot of things. I don’t have to be an expert photographer, but I do need to make my clients understand why they’re paying one $3,000.

S-R: When the time comes, will you oversee your own wedding?

Johnson: I won’t, which always shocks people. But I really believe in giving yourself that day off. And I don’t want my sweet mom working that day, either. A couple of years ago, she threw a surprise 30th birthday party for me, and she was so stressed about everything going great that by the end of it she was exhausted. I want everyone I love to enjoy my wedding, so I’ll hire professionals and let them do all the work.

Spokane freelance writer Michael Guilfoil can be reached at mguilfoil@comcast.net.

Recent stories in Business

Fries weddings come in threes

1204Fries Lauwers

1204Fries Brown

Last April, Kristen Fries began planning to propose to her girlfriend of nearly six years. But before Kristen – the middle child in a family of three girls – had a chance to do so, both of her sisters got engaged.

Kristen was waiting to hear from her girlfriend’s mother whether she could use her grandmother’s engagement ring. By the time she had the ring, her younger sister, Laura, and older sister, Hannah, were already planning their weddings.

“And I was sort of like, ‘Okay, now should I wait? Because this is crazy,’ ” Kristen said.

Kristen’s Oct. 27 marriage to Sarah Wilson will be the conclusion of a busy wedding season for the Fries family. It begins Saturday, when Laura Fries will marry her high school sweetheart, Bob Lauwers, at South Congregational Church in Concord. Hannah Fries will marry Adam Brown, her boyfriend of four years, on Aug. 25.

“It’s not like we were all planning to get engaged at the same time,” Hannah said. “We were just all planning to get engaged, and it happened at the same time.”

Their parents, David and Ellen Fries of Bow, said they couldn’t have imagined that all three of their children would get married within five months of each other. Laura is 24. Kristen will be 27 on her wedding day, and Hannah will be 30 on hers.

“They sort of fell like dominoes,” David said. “They were all truly attached to their various partners and we kept asking ourselves, ‘When is one of these girls going to announce that they’re getting married?’ “

David jokes that one of his friends told him he’ll have “three weddings and a home equity loan.”

Ellen and David, who will celebrate their 34th wedding anniversary in August, are paying for Hannah and Laura’s weddings but sharing the cost of Kristen’s wedding with her fiancee’s parents.

“I get a little bit of relief because there’s two brides in that wedding,” David said.

Each of the weddings will have between 100 and 150 guests, he said. It was hard to keep the guest lists small because the Frieses have a large extended family.

“Financial considerations have been important, a little bit tricky, but the girls are very good at understanding that these are going to be pretty laid-back weddings,” he said. “They’ve been given budgets, and they’re pretty good about that.”

Early on, David suggested a combined wedding, but “that idea didn’t gain a lot of traction,” he said.

“Laura and I kind of half-jokingly talked about it,” Hannah said. “And I said, ‘Well, that would be fine as long as you wanted to do everything the way I want to do everything.’ . . . We kind of put that aside pretty quickly.”

After choosing three separate wedding dates, the Frieses submitted three engagement announcements to the Monitor, which ran side-by-side in December. After that, Ellen and David said friends called, sent copies of the announcement and stopped them on the street to talk about the weddings. They even received an anonymous letter from a woman who didn’t know the family but wanted to congratulate them.

“If we happen to be someplace and talking to someone about it, if someone who we don’t know overhears it, they’ll say something like, ‘Oh, you’re the people who have the three weddings!’ ” David said. “And almost everybody has an interesting reaction. Usually it’s a lot of laughter, followed by concern for our welfare – financial and emotional – and then just celebration.”

 

Keeping things straight

Ellen Fries said she has three folders at home in Bow – one for each daughter’s wedding. She can rattle off certain facts about each wedding – the venue, the colors, the caterer. Other details blend together, but Ellen doesn’t seem too worried because “we don’t have any ‘bridezillas,’ ” and she describes her family as a calm group.

“It’s just there’s these three piles that get confused,” she said. “So I just kind of hope to take it as it comes.”

Laura, although the youngest, was the first of her sisters to get engaged and will be the first to get married. She and her fiance, Bob Lauwers, started dating during their junior year at Bow High School.

They’ve been close friends since they both played the baritone horn in middle school band. They both went to college in Ohio, but at different schools. After graduating college in 2010, they spent a year in Spain together, and “we figured we’d get married,” Laura said.

Laura and Bob, who live in Lowell, Mass., and work as Americorps volunteers, will have their wedding reception Saturday at Camp Spaulding in Concord. Both of Laura’s older sisters will be her bridesmaids.

While planning three weddings can be hectic, some details have simply fallen into place. Laura named a few different colors and told her sisters to buy any dress they wanted to wear at her wedding. When Kristen and Hannah brought their dresses home to Bow last month, they discovered they had chosen the same one.

“It’s kind of funny how we, in planning to be sort of loose and easygoing about it, we actually ended up having matching dresses after all,” Hannah said.

Hannah, the oldest, said she was happy when Laura got engaged before her and not at all surprised because Laura and Bob had been dating since high school. But she was “a little bit jealous” because she wondered if her own boyfriend would propose soon.

Meanwhile, Laura had told her mother, “All I want is to be a bridesmaid and an aunt.”

“I still get to be a bridesmaid now,” Laura said. “I just get to be a bride first.”

 

Striving for unique

Adam Brown proposed to Hannah in August, after having a ring designed out of wood from a cherry tree and asking her father’s permission. Hannah, who lives in Egremont, Mass., and works at Orion magazine, will get married Aug. 25 at South Congregational Church in Concord, followed by a reception at Dimond Hill Farm. It will have some similarities to Laura’s wedding; they’ll be held in the same church and will both be catered by Washington Street Cafe.

“I keep asking, ‘What are Laura and Bob doing for this or that? ‘ ” Hannah said. “But I think at the same time we also have a little bit individual ideas . . . of what we’re imagining it will be like.”

The sisters have tried to avoid other similarities among their weddings. Kristen, who’s getting married in October in Massachusetts, said she and Sarah had always talked about having an ice cream sundae bar at their wedding. But when Laura decided to serve ice cream sundaes for dessert at her wedding, Kristen changed her mind.

Laura said she told Kristen she could still serve ice cream, even though it might seem to guests that it had been Laura’s idea. Plus, “ice cream’s better than cake,” she said, jokingly.

But Kristen decided against it. A friend is making cake for her wedding, instead.

Kristen will be the last sister to get married; her October wedding is at Quonquont Orchard in Whatley, Mass. The reception will include food from the farm in Fitzwilliam where she and her fiancee work.

By the time Kristen’s wedding is over, “both of my families will be complete,” she said. In addition to her sisters’ weddings, her fiancee’s brother is getting married this summer.

“We’ll definitely remember this year as a family,” said Hannah, whose fiance also has a sister getting married this year.

“At some point, you have to stop thinking of your kid sister as a kid, and that certainly happens when they get married at the same time as you do,” Hannah said.

But Ellen said her three daughters will always be “kids” in her eyes.

“We’re a close family, we always have been,” David said. “I’ve always sort of wondered how well I’ll hold up in a wedding with giving my daughters away. I’ll probably be a mess.”

(Laura McCrystal can be reached at 369-3312 or lmccrystal@cmonitor.com or on Twitter @lmccrystal.)